The above item notes that partially uninstalled programs like to futz with your Start routine. Here's what to do to fully and completely eradicated an unwanted program off of your computer that don't have uninstall routines included. (If a program with an uninstall program won't completely leave your system, there are a number of shareware programs that will make all traces disappear. Check my Disk, Maintenance, Hardware, and Diagnostic Utilities page for suggestions.) Note: this involves editing the Registry. First, find the program path and file name by right-clicking the program's shortcut on your Start Menu and selecting "Properties." Everything in the Target field to the last backslash is the program's path, and everything after that backslash is the file name. For example,

C:\MY PROGRAMS\BUG MULTIPLIER\BUG.EXE

tells you that the path is C:\MY PROGRAMS\BUG MULTIPLIER\ and the program's file name is BUG.EXE. Keep this Properties box open. Now make sure nothing from the program runs automatically by selecting Start, Run, and typing MSCONFIG. Click the Startup tab. In the Name or Startup Items column, look for anything related to the program you're uninstalling. In the Command column, look for anything resembling the program path. Uncheck all the suspected items and click OK. Now, in Windows Explorer, eliminate file associations by selecting View, Folder Options (in Win 98/ME it's under Tools, not View). In the File Types tab, look for any file types that are associated with the program you're uninstalling. If you find one, you can either associate the file type with another program by choosing "Change" and selecting the new program, or just click "Delete" and eliminate the file association altogether. Confirm your choices by clicking Yes, then Close the menu. Clear the Registry out by going into Regedit (Start, Run, REGEDIT) and pressing Enter. In the HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT \ Applications key, click the plus sign, right-click the subkey(s) matching your program's file name, and select Delete. Now go to HKEY_CURRENT_USER \ Software and look for a subkey named for the vendor of the program, if you know it. Click the plus sign by the vendor's name to view the subkeys beneath it. If you see subkeys for the program you wish to delete, then by all means delete them, but don't just delete all the vendor keys, as that may trash the use of another program by the same vendor. Of course, if you end up getting rid of all the subkeys, then you can delete the vendor key entirely. Do the same in the HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE \ SOFTWARE key. Now press your Home key on your keyboard to go to the top of the Registry Editor's left pane, with My Computer selected. Press Ctrl+F to open the Find dialog box, and type in the program path (say, C:\MY PROGRAMS\BUG MULTIPLIER\) into the Find What field. Make sure all the options under "Look at" are checked, and clicked on either Next or Find Next. If a match turns up, delete the key containing it, then press F3 to search again. When you're done, close the Registry Editor. Now -- finally -- you can delete the program's folder and shortcuts.

If a program freezes and you can't get any response from the keyboard or the mouse, try Ctrl-Alt-Del (the famous "warm boot"). Hitting this once will bring up a Task List similar to Win3.1's Task Manager. Look to see if the program is listed as (Not responding). If so, click once on it (highlight it) and hit End Task. This should shut the program down (and will lose all unsaved work). Restart it and try again. Give the computer time to realize what's going on before snarling and hitting the power switch. Delays of 15-30 seconds or more before anything comes up from Ctrl-Alt-Del are not unusual. Hitting Ctrl-Alt-Del twice will restart your computer. If this doesn't work at all, turn the computer off, wait 10 seconds, and restart it. Most of the time this will work.

Windows hung and Ctrl+Alt+Del won't do anything? Try Ctrl+Esc. It may open your Start menu, from where you can shut down your computer.

Any time you run into any of these problems, if you're able to get the computer back to normal operating mode, close everything down and restart the computer. Just because everything looks OK doesn't mean that instabilities aren't lingering out of sight. Restarting the computer gives it a chance to clear itself of temporary glitches. Should the computer hang at the "Please wait while your computer shuts down" screen, wait at least a minute before doing anything. Then, if nothing happens, turn the computer off, count to ten, and turn it on again. When you do get it to restart, try booting Windows in Safe Mode by pressing F8 once you see the "Starting Windows..." message appear (try Ctrl instead of F8 in Win ME and some other setups). (Switching into Safe Mode from XP is a bit different: XP users need to enter MSCONFIG in the Start menu's Run dialog, then click on the BOOT.INI tab and check the /SAFEBOOT box. Reboot to enter Safe mode. Repeat the process and uncheck the box when you're through with Safe Mode. One caveat: Don't experiment with the other settings on this tab. You could wind up unable to get back into MSConfig to undo your changes.) Safe Mode bypasses all the start-up files and starts Windows in plain old VGA video mode. If it starts up okay, you need to cruise around in Device Manager to find what piece of hardware is gagging your system (more later about that). If you suspect a hardware problem, or you just want to zero in on the possible problem, restart the computer, hit F5, and select Option 5, "Launch with step-by-step confirmation" from the menu. This takes you step by step through the start-up routine, asking you whether or not you want to launch each piece of hardware as it comes up. An error message appears with anything that doesn't launch properly. It will ask you if you want to create a file called BOOTLOG.TXT. Do it - this is a text file that tracks the successful, or unsuccessful, launching of each step. You and I may not understand the contents of this text file, but technical support will appreciate it. A goodie on the freeware market: Boot Log Analyzer for Windows 95/98 version 1.22, available for download at www.vision4.dial.pipex.com/. Not that the info Boot Log provides you will be a hell of a lot more understandable....

When you're getting strange error messages or having trouble starting Windows, you're nearing crash territory, likely because Windows self-deleted one or more necessary files. (Don't ask why.) One neato fix-it is to run Windows's Setup and select the Verify option. This tells Windows to check all files it needs and to replace those that are missing or damaged. Assuming you catch the problem quickly enough, this may be all the crash recovery you need.

Having problems with XP crashes? Microsoft claimed that the day of computer crashes was over, but, well, they lied. Try bringing up Task Manager by right-clicking on the taskbar and clicking Task Manager. Select the Processes tab in the application window, and click the list box column head labeled "Image Name" to sort the list of running applications. Find the application you think may be causing the crash, right-click it, and choose "End Process." Click OK to confirm your choice. Keep doing this until all instances of the program are shut down. Close Task Manager and start the application again.

For those not in the know, Task Manager keeps tabs on your system and how it's running. You can use the Task Manager to get an overview of what programs and processes are running on your computer. You can also use it to switch programs and to end programs that have stopped responding or frozen up on you. Open the Windows Task Manager by right-clicking the taskbar at a place where there are no buttons and then clicking Task Manager on the shortcut menu. To switch to another program from the Windows Task Manager, click the program in the list box on the Applications tab and then click the Switch To button. Windows will then minimize the Task Manager and display the program window on the desktop. To end a program that has frozen up, click the program in the list box on the Applications tab and then click the End Task button. You'll probably get an alert dialog box indicating that the program has stopped responding. Click the End button in this dialog box (as many times as you have to) to get Windows to kill the program. When you click a program in the list on the Applications tab, the status bar of the Windows Task Manager shows you statistics on the number of processes running under the program, the percentage of the CPU (central processing unit, the big chip at the heart of the computer), and the memory usage of the program. If you like to look at schematics, click the Performance tab in this window to see a dynamic charting of the total CPU and memory usage on your computer (and to discover real useful stuff like the number of handles, threads, and processes that are being run).

It's worth noting here that XP's Task Manager has an extra feature called Processes. You can click this and find out gobs of info about your various processes. It's also worth noting that XP/2K/NT 4's Task Manager has a "tiny footprint" mode that can confuse some users into thinking they've lost most of their program window. If this has happened to you, return Task Manager to normal by double-clicking in the border.

The Task Manager, invoked by the Ctrl+Alt+Del command, often shows arcane and cryptically named programs running on your machine. You might be tempted to start shutting them down indiscriminately to see if they really are needed; if you do that, you'll certainly crash Windows at some point. You can do this a little less dramatically by using Win 98/ME/XP's System Configuration utility. Go through Start, Run, and type MSCONFIG in the field. Click on the StartUp tab and deselect the drivers and programs you think you can live without, click on OK, and reboot. If you find out that you need one or more of the deselected programs, go back and reselect it.

The computer comes on, but instead of the normal display, you get a series of beeps and/or a string of numbers along with an error message: You have a sick computer. Call a tech.

One of the scariest phrases to see come up on screen is "Hard Drive Not Found." Did the gremlins come in to steal your hard drive? No, but you've definitely got something odd going on. You should have made an emergency boot disk already, so try that. If it still won't boot up, use your system manual to find out how to enter System Setup after restarting the machine; restart it and verify that all drive parameters are correct. If they are, and restarting still doesn't work, you've got a hardware problem. It may be as easy as a cable that's worked itself loose, a frayed wire, or an expansion card that's gumming up the works. If it will boot with the emergency disk, enter DIR /A and check to see if the programs COMMAND.COM, IO.SYS, and MSDOS.SYS are on the startup disk (they should be). If they are, restart your PC; if they aren't, copy them to your C: drive and restart. Still doesn't work? Scan your drive(s) with a DOS-based anti-virus program and restart now. If you still can't get it to work, your last-ditch effort before packing it up for the shop is to enter the command FDISK/MBR at the C: prompt and then restart (hope you've got your data backed up!). If this doesn't do it, you're off to the shop. You may have BIOS problems, see a professional. It may be as simple as replacing the computer's internal battery or resetting BIOS's values. BIOS problems are usually indicated when your computer tells you that your hard drive or your operating system are missing. They're not missing; BIOS just can't find them. Reinstalling your CMOS RAM(as above) might fix the problem, but if that doesn't do it, holler for help.

Or maybe there's the dreaded "Stack Overflow" message. This tip actually won't help with that one, but if you get the similar, even more arcane "This message is informing you that your computer has no spare stack pages. You may need to increase the setting of 'MinSPs' in System.ini to prevent possible stack faults. There are currently (nnn) SPs allocated" message, here's what's happening. Windows is trying to load a driver that's using extra memory and is trying to compensate for it. Unfortunately, your stack configuration isn't cooperating. Fix this problem by editing the SYSTEM.INI file in Notepad: find the [386enh] section and edit, or add, following line:
MinSPs=4
If this does not work, increase the amount by doubling each time. Don't worry about taking too much memory; each stack takes only 4Kb.

A common, and scary, error message is the phrase "CMOS Checksum Error." The CMOS is a battery-backed chip on your motherboard that holds critical hardware configuration info -- not something you want to be sick. Several system utility programs out there will back up CMOS information, but if you don't have one of these, you should print out and keep your CMOS information as detailed above. The "checksum" error comes about when your PC thinks that the CMOS information has changed without your having changed it. The most common cause for this is a dying CMOS battery, but several viruses also cause this, as well as one-time anomalies that come and go without explanation. You need to restore CMOS's original settings, either by using something like Nuts&Bolts or Norton Utilities, or by letting a techie do it using your printed configuration. Save the changes and reboot the PC, and if the error appears again, you've either got a dying battery or a virus. Have a techie replace the battery. If the error keeps appearing, run a virus scan with an up-to-date virus scanner. If it still appears, you have a freaked-out CMOS and you need to yell for help. Sometimes the error disappears without a trace -- in that case, cross your fingers and hope it doesn't reoccur.

Sometimes when booting up, Windows displays a "File Not Found" message. This isn't as bad as it looks (usually) -- often Windows is hunting for a file associated with a program you uninstalled, and being stupid, Windows can't figure out why the file is no longer there. (Usually it's a .DLL or .VXD file missing.) You may still have entries in the Registry or in SYSTEM.INI that reflect these missing files. Copy down the name of the missing file exactly as it reads in the error message. Then, from the taskbar, select Start/Find/Files and Folders. Search for the missing file; if you find it, copy it to your WINDOWS or WINDOWS\SYSTEM folder. If you think you might have moved or renamed a program file, make a new folder with the old name, and copy the offending program there. Reboot and see if the error message goes away. (Talk about spit and baling wire....) Now, what happens if you can't find the offending file? You'll need to go through the Registry, and through the SYSTEM.INI file, for any references to the file, and delete them. (Back up copies of both the Registry and the SYSTEM.INI file before tinkering.) Use RegEdit to go through the Registry, and Notepad to open SYSTEM.INI. When you find any lines devoted to the offending file, note exactly where they are (in case you need to reinstate them) and delete them. Carefully. Then check your WINDOWS\STARTUP folder for any shortcuts that call for the file, and delete them.

Sometimes a PC likes to restart itself without warning. If this occurs, you need to check it out. Heat is the most likely problem; something is overheating, and it's most likely your CPU. Check your cooling fan; if it isn't working or you've got a cheapie, have a new one ($20 or so) installed. If it isn't heat, it might be a loose connection. Have a techie disconnect and reseat the power cables from the power supply that attach to the motherboard. Your techie friend should also use a voltmeter to check for loose wires in the connectors while they're disconnected. If this doesn't fix it, start looking for cracked traces on the motherboard or poor solder connections. If you've gone this far, you may want to consider heaving the old motherboard and replacing it in its entirety. Before you do that, though, consider problems with your electrical supply. Your local power company might be slamming you with power surges (though you'd probably notice your lights flickering, your VCR resetting to 12:00, etc.). Buy and use a high-quality surge protector or even a standby power supply.

One of my favorite Windows zappers is the mysteriously deleted .VXD file. (I reinstalled from scratch twice because of this.) You start your computer and instead of the usual desktop, your computer jumps straight to the Shut Down screen or you get a message telling you that the VMM32.VXD file is missing or corrupted. Buried deep in the vaults of Microsoft's Knowledge Base is a solution that even the Microsoft phone minion I talked to didn't know about: Restart, press F8 when the "Starting Windows" message appears, and choose "Command Prompt Only," and from the C: prompt, type:

CD \WINDOWS\SYSTEM
REN VMM32.VXD VMM32.OLD

Now you have to reinstall Windows, as described above. If everything works as before, delete the VMM32.OLD file. Confused? Try reading the article at Microsoft's Web site at support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/q137/3/35.asp. Another good source of information about this file is at www.infinisource.com/techfiles/vmm32.html.

A related problem to the above .VXD snafu occurs when the WININIT.EXE file is damaged or lost. In this case, your computer will, again, jump straight from startup to shutdown. You need to reinstall WININIT.EXE from your Windows CD or floppies. Get to the C: prompt as described above, insert your Windows CD or Disk 1 of your floppies, and type the following command:

COPY D:\EXTRACT.EXE C:\ (use A: instead of D: if you're using floppies and not the CD).

Now you can extract (decompress) the WININIT.EXE file from storage. (If you're using floppies, insert Disk 11 now.) Type:

EXTRACT D:\WIN95_11.CAB WININIT.EXE /L C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM (Again, use A: instead of D: if applicable.)

This replaces the bad file with a fresh copy. Restart your computer. (At least you don't have to reinstall Windows!)

More .VXD woes? Here are some general tips, courtesy of Steve Bass. First, try to find the offending .VXD file in your hard drive; it's possible it's there, but not being recognized by the Registry. Find the VXD and rename it in a way that you'll be able to find it later; for instance, rename IMPORTANT.VXD to X-IMPORTANT.VXD. If that doesn't help, examine the error message and see what it recommends. If it says the VXD is missing from a specific program that you're still, reinstall the program. You also may have tried to uninstall the program but it only partially removed itself. Try uninstalling it again and hope for a full un-installation. If that doesn't work, the best way to fully uninstall it is to install it first, and then uninstall it again. You may also want to examine your system's bootlog file, located at C:\BOOTLOG.TXT, and see what other .VXDs or drivers aren't loading. It may give you a hint of the problem. You can create a Boot Log file by choosing option 2 from the Windows 95/98 Startup Menu (press F8 while booting in order to display the Startup Menu). Remember, some failures are normal. If you're seeing load failures in your bootlog.txt file that aren't the ones you're getting on boot, read this article from Microsoft:
Load Failures Listed in the Bootlog.txt File, located at support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/Q127/9/70.ASP. If you're still flummoxed, then maybe you need an exorcist. Failing that, you'll need to scour the registry for the entry that still holds the reference for the VXD. Go to Start, Run, and type REGEDIT. Select Registry, Export Registry File, and type in the File Name field, and hit Enter. Then select Edit, Find, and first type in the exact name of the file in the Find What field. Click Find Next and when the search stops, delete the highlighted key—the name of the VXD. Press Enter to confirm and to continue searching until a message pops up indicating "Finished searching through the registry." If the Registry's Find doesn't find the .VXD, it gets ticklish. Make sure you typed the .VXD correctly. Try looking for portions of the .VXD's name. Or look for the program the .VXD was part of and see if the .VXD is listed that way. Ugh.

If you're getting an "Error Starting Program" message that indicates various files are "linked to missing export MFC42.DLL:(various #s)," there's obviously a problem with your MFC42.DLL file: it's missing, damaged, or just isn't registered in the Windows Registry. Start by trying to re-register the MFC42.DLL file in the registry because it is a pretty fast and easy fix. Click Start, Run. At the Run window, type C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\REGSVR32.EXE C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM\MFC42.DLL and click OK. You should get a message that MFC42.DLL was successfully registered, after which you need to restart your computer. If you don't have any more trouble then you know it was just a matter of an unregistered file. If you are still having trouble, then you probably have a damaged or missing MFC42.DLL file. Microsoft Knowledge Base Article 184799 addresses this exact problem. Basically, you just need to extract a new copy of the MFC42.DLL file from your Windows CD. Put your Windows installation CD in the CD-ROM drive, click Start, Run. At the Run window type SFC and then click OK. Next, click "Extract one file from installation disk" and in the "Specify the system file you would like to restore" field you need to type C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM\MFC42.DLL, and then click Start. Now, click the Browse button next to the "Restore from" field and browse to either your Windows CD or your Windows CAB files on your hard drive. All that is left after this is to click OK, follow the on-screen instructions, and restart your computer.

Win 95 holdouts: if you upgraded from Win 3.x and you're experiencing lots of GPF's (general protection faults), hangs, blue-screen parity error messages, etc. in more than one program, you may have bad RAM chips on your motherboard. This needs a tech to fix.

If you're experiencing frequent system hangs with no error messages being displayed, suspect a hardware resource conflict. Most likely you have an IRQ conflict. You may be able to track down the culprit by going through the System applet in Control Panel, or through Device Manager. You may have an older piece of hardware on your computer that was designed for older versions of Windows (the hardware may well have been bundled onto your system before you bought it, especially if you bought a budget or secondhand system) or your device drivers may be outdated. If you're able to access the "Details" box from an error message, and you keep seeing faults generated by a file ending in .SYS, you probably have an outdated DOS real-mode device driver which refuses to work with Windows. Try to find out which piece of hardware this driver is running, and get a more up-to-date driver, probably from DriversHQ (www.drivershq.com/) or from the hardware manufacturer's Web site. You may also have driver problems with files ending in .VXD, .386, and .DRV. Frequent faults from one of these means you need an update also. You shouldn't be running any .386 drivers; all of these should have been updated to .VXD drivers. A quick way to locate problem drivers is to generate a system report (see the Print and Keep System Info page). If you do need to get new drivers, make sure you find out how to install them before doing so. A faulty installation of a correct driver will cause more problems than you already have. You may need to get help for this. (One good source is Microsoft's Knowledge Base article Q130179, "Troubleshooting MS-DOS Compatibility Mode on Hard Disks." Find this article on their Website.)

To use Device Manager to resolve an IRQ conflict, click the Device Manager tab and the plus sign (+) next to the line for the type of adapter you are installing. (For example, if it’s a display adapter, click the plus sign next to Display Adapters.) Check to see if there is a symbol next to the new adapter. An exclamation point inside a yellow circle is a warning that this device is experiencing a conflict with another device because they are trying to use the same IRQ (resource setting). Windows will only let one device use an IRQ, so you will need to resolve this by checking the documentation for this device. When you know the conflicting IRQ number, scroll to the top of the Device Manager and double-click the Computer icon. The Computer Properties dialog box opens with a list of devices on your computer and the IRQ assigned to each one. Scroll through this list, locate the device that is conflicting with your new device, and make a note of its IRQ. While you’re at it, find an open IRQ and make a note of it. You’ll need to assign the legacy device to the open IRQ. Close the Computer Properties dialog box to return to the Device Manager, then scroll through the list of hardware to locate the conflicting legacy device. Click the line for that device, then click Properties. Click the Resources tab, then uncheck Use Automatic Settings. Click the Interrupt Request Line, click the Change Setting button, and assign the device to the open IRQ you noted earlier. This frees up the old IRQ for your new device. Click OK. Return to the Device Manager, and click the line for your new adapter card. Click Properties and the Resources tab, and uncheck Use Automatic Settings. Next, click the Interrupt Request line, click Change Setting, and assign this device to the appropriate IRQ. Click OK. Exit the Device Manager, restart Win95, and your new adapter and old adapter should now work. If not, you may need to contact the device manufacturer for technical support or contact a pro for assistance.

Need to add another peripheral, and Windows is out of IRQs? You might try using the secondary IDE channel. Boot into your BIOS setup program and disable the secondary IDE controller. On most systems, this frees up IRQ 15. Don't know what I'm talking about with this tip? Then, er, don't try it.

Often Windows can correct a misbehaving piece of hardware by having it reinstalled through Device Manager. That's right, "uninstall" it and let Windows reinstall it, hopefully eliminating the glitchy behavior in the process. Go through Control Panel, open the System applet, and choose the Device Manager tab. In the list, highlight the piece of hardware causing you the trouble and click "Remove." Shut down Windows and unplug the piece of hardware. Restart Windows, and when your system is up and running, plug the hardware device back in. If Plug&Play doesn't get the installation process started, use the Add New Hardware applet in Control Panel to reinstall it.

To expand on the above: if your computer refuses to recognize a particular piece of hardware -- a CD-ROM drive or a printer or whatever -- and restarting it has no effect, go into Add New Hardware in the Control Panel and have Windows try to find and install the hardware itself. Windows provides a Hardware Compatibility List (out of date but possibly useful) either in the Drivers folder of the CD-ROM or under C\WINDOWS\HELP. Double-click the HCL95 help file. Click whichever icon is appropriate and look for your piece of hardware. New hardware is always coming out, and your hardware may not be listed on the HCL file. Check to see if the manufacturer lists it as Windows-compatible. Microsoft updates this list somewhere on its Web site; start hunting at www.microsoft.com. Another way of dealing with device problems is to access Device Manager through Start/Settings/Control Panel/System, and looking down the list for devices marked with a red X or a yellow exclamation mark. Highlight those one at a time and click on Properties to find out more. Pay close attention to the information in Resources. If that dialog box lists a resource conflict, use the Conflict troubleshooter to find a cure. If that doesn't do the trick, try removing the check mark from the box that says Use Automatic Settings and restart the computer. If you're not sure what to do, click on the Remove button to remove the device altogether, restart Windows, and repeat the installation. Hopefully the restart will clear your problem up, with Windows reinstalling the errant hardware. Search manufacturers' Web sites for updated drivers; your driver software may be out of date. (There is no need to install newer drivers over older ones if the old ones are working properly -- if it ain't broke, don't fix it!) There is one more thing that you can do if you're facing the option of reinstalling Windows to clear up this problem, but it's a last-ditch option: you can force Windows to redetect all the hardware in your system, and the redetection process could solve your problem. Open Device Manager, expand the System Devices tree structure, remove every listed device, then restart your computer. It may take several reboots for Windows to detect every piece of hardware, but sometimes this takes care of the system conflict. Remember, this is a last-ditch option; if it fails, you will have to reinstall Windows.

A related note to the above: Win 98/ME has a known glitch regarding CD-ROM drives. Many CD-ROMS are dual channel IDE (Integrated Device Electronics) devices. Windows has a special setting you need to set in order to accommodate these devices. Try this fix if you experience problems after installing Win 98/ME: Select Start, Settings, and Control Panel; then double-click System. Select the Device Manager tab. Double-click the Hard Disk Controllers branch to expand it, select your IDE controller, and then select Properties. Select the Settings tab. In the Dual IDE Channel Settings box, select Both IDE Channels Enabled, and then click OK (2 times), and restart your computer. That should take care of the problem.

If you're trying to have Windows find a missing modem, you may speed the process up by going through Control Panel's Modem applet.

Device Manager is a neat little utility worth exploring further. You can access it either through My Computer (right-click the icon and select Properties) or through the System icon in Control Panel. The System Properties box comes up, and Device Manager is the second tab at the top. Once in, you'll be given a list of hardware categories (floppy drives, network adapters, etc) with plus signs beside each one. Click the plus to see what particular kind of device(s) you have for each category. If a problem with a device exists, Device Manager will open with that category already open, and a warning sign beside the problem device. A circled exclamation point with a yellow background tells you that the device isn't working properly, while a circled X with a red background tells you that the device is totally disabled. To examine a particular device, click on it and choose Properties, or double-click it. You can also configure a device, to an extent, through Device Manager. Going through Properties/Change Setting gives you an Edit option, which allows you to reset values. The idea is to reset devices so that you get the warm fuzzy message, "No devices are conflicting." However, you may not have a clue as to what values to reset; in that case, let Windows do it itself by checking the box named "Use automatic settings." You have to uncheck this box anyway to reset the device, and if you don't know what you're doing, you could make a problem situation much, much worse. One thing all of can use Device Manager for is to learn more about our machines. For example, try clicking on the plus sign beside System Devices. Whee! Look at all those devices; what the hell are they? Scope them out to your heart's content, but do not reconfigure them, or you'll wish you hadn't. Device Manager also reports on how your computer allocates system resources: double-click on Computer to get the Computer Properties dialog box. The radio buttons at the top give you info on your IRQ, I/O, DMA, and memory usage.

Make Device Manager much more accessible by creating a specialized shortcut. To do so, right-click anywhere on the desktop and select New, Shortcut from the shortcut menu. Once the Create Shortcut Wizard launches, type: C:\WINDOWS\CONTROL.EXE Sysdm.cpl, System,1 in the Command line text box. Then, name the shortcut Device Manager and change the icon to something more suitable if you like. You can then move the Device Manager shortcut to your Start menu for easy accessibility.

Here's an example of one common task performed by Device Manager: updating your video driver.

1. Expand (click on the plus) the Display Adaptors Type in Device Manager.

2. Double-click on the display adaptor name to open the Properties dialog.

3. Select the Driver tab.

4. Click the Driver/File Details button to see the driver provider and version number, for your information. Click OK to close.

5. Go to the video card manufacturer's site (or another Web site that provides drivers) and download the latest driver.

6. Click the Update Driver (or Change Driver) button.

7. Click the Next button in the Update Driver wizard.

8. Click the button that says "Display a list of drivers," then click Next.

9. Select the Have Disk button.

10. Browse your hard drive to find the driver you downloaded and install it into your system.

Other driver updates can be done similarly to this one.

Sometimes Windows fools itself into thinking there are two different pieces of hardware installed when there is only one, such as both a PS/2 and a serial mouse. Go through Device Manager, highlight the one that doesn't exist, and click Remove.

You can lose any of a number of critical system files to corruption, especially the KERNEL32.DLL file. Sometimes you can run SFC.EXE from the DOS prompt to fix corrupted system files, SFC being Windows' System File Checker. But this doesn't always work. You can also make repairs by extracting the files from their .CAB archives. You'll use the DOS EXTRACT.EXE tool (in the \WINDOWS\COMMANDS folder). Type EXTRACT /? from a DOS window to view the syntax requirements and available options for using this tool. For more detailed information, see Microsoft's Web page "How to Extract Original Compressed Windows Files" at support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/q129/6/05.asp. You can also use CabView, one of the Win 95 Power Toys, available from www.microsoft.com/windows95/downloads/
contents/wutoys/w95pwrtoysset/ (remember, the Power Toys only work with Win 95).

One odd problem occurs when the desktop comes up, then an error message appears saying that you have a Registry problem and you should restart Windows to reinitialize the Registry; you do so, and the message appears again; concurrently, Windows refuses to recognize the A: drive or other, equally maddening side-effects. Straighten out the Registry by going through Control Panel into Add New Hardware, double-clicking that icon, and letting Windows go through its automatic device detection procedure. This should clear out any device confusions and restore existing devices Windows has managed to "misplace," like the supposedly missing A: drive (or D: drive, or sound card, or joystick, or whatever). If this doesn't do it, and your connections are clean and your cables aren't sparking, then you need to delete your current copies of SYSTEM.DAT and USER.DAT, and replace them either with the nice, fresh copies you made way back when, or with the automatic backups, the DA0 files (see above). Restore the Registry as described earlier.

The computer locked, you cool-booted (see below) or restarted, and now your icons are gone! You're left with tiny blank boxes and worse, the icons don't start your programs for you. Your links between your shortcuts and your applications somehow trashed themselves (don't ask how) during the lockup. To restore the links, you'll partially reinstall Windows, but won't lose your settings: run SETUP from your Windows CD or floppies, follow the choices until you get to the options "Replace Windows files that are missing or corrupt" or "Copy all files." Choose the "Replace" option, then click Continue. SETUP will run through all of the installed apps, files, and Registry items, and create new links. Go make a sandwich; it'll be done when you get back.

If your Start Menu is slow or your icons are black (or replaced by the boring plain-vanilla Windows icons) for some reason, it may mean that your "Shelliconcache" file is corrupt and should be deleted. Delete the hidden file C:\WINDOWS\SHELLICONCACHE. It will be recreated the next time you start Windows. Or use the free Refresh Em utility to make the repairs, available from camtech2000.com/Pages/Useful.html.

.DLL files shared between more than one Windows program can sometimes cause problems. You'll find a bunch of these in the Windows/System folder. Sometimes a program needs an updated version of an older .DLL file so it overwrites the older one in favor of a newer one. These files are supposed to be backwards-compatible (a program using version 2 should work with version 3 also) but sometimes are not; the reverse, sadly, isn't true either (a program needing version 3 will turn up its nose at version 2). The most common scenario is this: You install Program A, run it just fine, then install Program B. Program A suddenly goes belly up, either refusing to run or generating error messages reading "Program A has caused a blah blah fault in module xxxx.dll ..." Usually you can fix this by uninstalling and reinstalling Program A. Its setup program will update the offending .DLL file. Good information on conflicts with .DLLs can be found at search.support.microsoft.com and hunting through Microsoft's Knowledge Base located there.

.DLL files are one of the prime causes of Windows crashes. As stated above, the programs fall all over each other, with older versions replacing newer, more useful, versions and causing all sorts of havoc. If you really want to go on a .DLL hunt, go about it like this: First, back up your system. Go to the desktop and bring up Find, either through the Start menu or by clicking F3. Search your hard drives for *.DLL and make sure you're searching subfolders as well. You'll get a blue million of 'em. (I just did it and found 1255 of the little beasties!) In the results window, select View/Details and click the Name column to sort the files. Hunt through and find all the duplicates. Now right-click each duplicate file, select Properties, and click the Version tab. The file with the higher (more recent) version number should be in the \WINDOWS\SYSTEM folder. If the .DLL with the lower version number is in the app's program folder, use Rename to change its file extension to .D_L. That way, the old version won't load, which will force the program to look in the System folder to find the right .DLL. (None of this applies to the duplicate .DLLs in the SYSTEM folder. Leave those alone.) Now, reboot your PC and load the program that uses the older .DLL. If it runs, it's probably OK, and you can move on to the next duplicate set of .DLLs. (You didn't think this was going to be quick or anything, did you?) After you've completed this drudgery, wait a few weeks to ensure everything works. If it does, then delete all the .D_L files. Too complicated? Get the shareware utility DLL Checker from www.VB2.Java.com and let it sort the .DLL files for you. It also performs the same service for .OCX, .VBX, and .VXD files.

Speaking of obscure .DLLs, you can often get an idea about their identities (along with .EXE, .OCX, and other files) by right-clicking them in Windows Explorer, choosing "Properties," and choosing "Version." This displays the "version resource" within the file, if it has one, and that will tell you the company that wrote the file, the product the file is associated with, and the file's version number. Some info is (sometimes) better than none at all....

Corrupted Windows configuration files are often guilty of crashing your system. You start your computer and Windows refuses to start at all, instead generating a "Windows protection error" message or some other message informing you that Windows cannot load. This can send your adrenaline rate rising, but actually isn't hard to fix -- if you've created a configuration file backup using your Emergency Recovery Utility as explained earlier. If you haven't, get ready to scrub and reinstall.

If you're in MS-DOS mode and the computer refuses to recognize your CD drive, Windows may have "remmed out" the line controlling CD recognition from your CONFIG or AUTOEXEC files. Go into Edit mode, bring up either file, and look for a line that looks something like

REM C:\BIN MSCDEX /D:MSCD001 /M:10
REM - BY WINDOWS 95 NETWORK

Delete the REM parts, the "By Win95 Network" part, the dashes, and the extraneous spaces. Also, while you're in CONFIG.SYS, check your LASTDRIVE line. It specifies the highest letter which may be used as a drive letter; the default is E. If your CD drive is given a higher letter than LASTDRIVE allows for, it will tell you that you don't have enough drive letters. Change LASTDRIVE to read F, G, or H instead of E. If your CD driver values are wrong in CONFIG and/or AUTOEXEC, Windows will refuse to accept them. Look above in "Create Startup Disk" for the correct values.

Speaking of drive letters for your CD-ROM, it's annoying and sometimes troublesome when you install a second hard drive, a removable drive, repartition your C: drive, or what have you, and Windows arbitrarily reassigns your CD-ROM drive a new letter. Make the CD letter stay as it is by right-clicking My Computer, selecting Properties, and selecting Device Manager. Find CD-ROM in the list of peripherals and double-click it. Click the Settings tab. In the "Reserved drive letters" box, change both the "Start drive letter" and "End drive letter" options to your choice of one permanent drive letter. Pick one far enough down in the alphabet so as not to interfere with Windows' method of naming hard drive partitions; anything past "J" should do the trick. Click OK to lock in your choice.

If you're running an older PC with a Pentium chip made earlier than 1995, your chip may have the infamous "Pentuim bug," which is actually an error in the FPV (Floating Point Unit, integrated coprocessor). The error affects floating point division, causing certain number sets to give false results. Any program using the math coprocessor is vulnerable to this error. Check your chip by opening the Calculator (Start/ Programs/Accessories), going into View and selecting Scientific, and entering the following math problem: 4195835 - (4195835 / 3145727) * 3145727 = . The answer should be 0. If your answer is 256, your chip has the bug. Your best bet here is to either junk the old PC for a newer model or have a pro replace your chip. If neither one of these options appeals to you, check the shareware boards for a program such as Nofpu.com, which will disable the FPU and protect your PC from the effects of the bug, though you will lose the use of the math coprocessor. Better to buy a more up-to-date machine.

Win9x uses a swap file to provide your system with virtual memory, which basically helps get the most mileage out of your system's RAM. The swap file can be found under the file name WIN386.SWP. Sometimes your system or an app creates more than one of these files. You can delete it and save precious MB by going into DOS mode and deleting ALL the copies; Win9x will automatically recreate it -- only one -- when you restart Windows. If you want to save hard disk space, you can force Windows to put the swap file on a second hard drive. Right-click My Computer, choose Properties, click the Performance tab, and click the Virtual Memory button. Check the option button that says "Let me specify my own virtual memory settings," and choose the desired hard drive from the pull-down list. Dont futz with the Minimum or Maximum settings, and DON'T check the "Disable virtual memory" box. When you click OK, a warning box will pop up telling you that trouble could arise from your specifying your own virtual memory settings; ignore it. Restart your system. You can track your swap file usage using System Monitor, a goodie found under Accessories.

You copied a file from a CD-ROM and now it won't let you delete or edit it: If you copied the file manually, it may have carried its "read-only"attribute along with it. Fix this by selecting the copied file in Windows Explorer, right-clicking the file, selecting Properties from the resulting menu, and disabling the "Read-only" attribute in the box. To do this in DOS mode, you need to use the ATTRIB command: ATTRIB -R FILENAME.

Marking a file "read-only" makes it harder for users to change it without your permission. Just right-click the file, go into Properties, and check the "Read-only" box. When you open this file under its native application, you'll see it marked as "read-only," and any changes you make cannot be saved. Neither can the file be deleted.

Want more security? Mark a file as "hidden" in the same Properties dialog box mentioned in the previous tip. That way it doesn't even show up in the file directory. To access a hidden file, you can either opt to display hidden files, as explained elsewhere on this page, or you can open the Open dialog box of the file's native application, navigate your way to the file's exact location, type its exact name, and click Open.

Just for the sake of completeness, there's a third type of file attribute, called Archive. This is reserved for files made by backup programs.

A big fat bug in Windows makes notebook computers run slower than intended. If you don't mind editing the Registry, you can fix it and speed your notebook up considerably. In Control Panel, click on system and click on the Performance tab. Under Advanced Settings, click the File System button. In the drop-down list called Typical Role of this Machine, choose Mobile or Docking System. Click OK. Get out of Control Panel and go to Start/Run. Type REGEDIT. (Be damn careful from here on out.) Two settings in your Registry are probably reversed. Search for the following line: HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE \ SOFTWARE \ MICROSOFT \ WINDOWS \ CURRENTVERSION \ FS \ TEMPLATES. Highlight the Mobile key in the left-hand pane and check the hexadecimal values in the right-hand pane. NameCache should be set to 51 01 00 00 and PathCache should be 10 00 00 00. If these values are reversed, make the necessary changes and restart.

CD-ROM audio won't play: Test your system by playing a music CD and listening through the front-panel headphone jack (yes, plug in the headphones). If that works, the drive is OK. Next, run a cable from the headphone jack to the line input of your sound card, then adjust the mixer's line level and master level. If that works, then your sound card is also OK and your problem is likely in the audio-only link between the CD-ROM drive and the sound card. Remember, you can't hear MIDI or .WAV files through the headphones. Sometimes you find that a Windows program has no sound, but a DOS-based program does; a Windows app may have set your volume level to 0 in Control Panel/Multimedia/Audio. Reset it to full. (By the way, you should turn off the system sounds to your PC if you're listening to music: just right-click the yellow Volume Control icon in the System Tray near the clock, choose Open Volume Controls, and put a check in the Mute box under the .WAV or WAVE column. Don't check the Mute All box to the far left, or you won't hear anything.)

Sound plays but it sounds wonky: Turn off all special effects on the speakers and the software -- you want to start with plain, unadulterated sound. Play a MIDI file and make sure left is left, right is right, and sound quality remains constant as you pan from left to right and back. If that goes OK, play something you know well and bring up the special effects one at a time. You'll find the culprit. What if you have no sound at all? Either your sound card isn't seated properly, your speaker wires aren't connected properly, your volume control is turned way down, or the wrong sound driver is installed in Windows. If Device Manager shows an exclamation mark over your sound driver, it either isn't installed at all or it's the wrong one. Also, go through Control Panel to Multimedia, select Advanced, and make sure "Use audio features" is checked. Wanna get rid of that speaker icon in your system tray? Open Control Panel, double-click on "Multimedia," select the "Audio" tab, uncheck "Show volume control in the taskbar" and click OK.

Your sound is okay, but your balance is off, and there doesn't seem to be a balance knob.... Actually, Windows does give you a balance control, but it isn't easily located. Go through Start/Programs/Accessories/Multimedia/Volume Control. You'll get a dialog box that will let you adjust the volume and balance of your PC sound, as well as specific .wav files and audio CD's. If it doesn't come up, you'll need to install it from your Windows CD.

Test your multimedia capability by playing the GOODTIME.AVI file directly off the Windows CD. Watch the lip sync and general motion of Edie Brickell as she sings. Then copy the file to your hard drive and play it again. If it looks and sounds a lot better the second time, your CD drive isn't up to today's multimedia demands.

The case is hot enough to fry eggs: The internal cooling fan is stuck or broken. Let a tech fix it. 90% of these problems are caused by dirt or pet hair getting sucked into the fan. One preventative measure is to cut a small piece of panty hose and stretch it over the fan duct, then tape it into place. The hose will filter out smoke, dirt, and fur. A computer that runs hot can cause major, major damage to both hardware and stored data. Don't run it until the fan is fixed. One problem with the new, cheapie PCs is that they often have cheap, unreliable fans built in. Less expensive fans use sleeve-bearing motors instead of ball-bearing motors, and the life expectancy of a sleeve bearing is only about 12 months. If you're buying a PC with an Intel chip, make sure it is the "boxed processor," which comes with its own reliable Intel fan.

You dumped coffee, Coke, or something else sticky and gross all over your keyboard. Many keyboards come with removable keys; after disconnecting the keyboard, you can remove the keys and clean the contacts (and the keys) with alcohol and a swab. An absolute last resort for really, really gunked-up keyboards is to immerse the whole thing in a pan of alcohol. You'll need several bottles, but hey, who told you to slime your keyboard to begin with? Don't use water, it doesn't evaporate as fast as alcohol and it rusts metal components. Remember to use the alcohol-immersion treatment in a well-ventilated room, and let it dry thoroughly before hooking it back up. (Now I've read a letter from a techie who says to use warm water and not alcohol, that alcohol will leave behind a sticky, gummy mess. Hmmmm.)

The power comes on but the monitor doesn't: Oftentimes the monitor runs separately from the computer. Is it turned on? Are the brightness/contrast switches turned up enough to see the screen? Is the damn thing plugged in? Has the VGA cable worked loose? Perhaps the video card has come loose from its socket; unless you know what you're doing, it's better to let a pro check this. Cheapie power supplies can be a source of trouble, also. A name-brand manufacturer usually, but not always, includes a reliable power source. However, if Fastbuck Freddy is patching together a PC for you, chances are good he'll give you the $14 cheapo rather than the $100 goodie. One thing to try for a bad display is to restart Windows in "Safe Mode," which sets the video display to plain old VGA mode. If it comes up OK, your video adapters or drivers are most likely bad. If it still comes up wonky, you've got a hardware problem.

Problems with power management? Win 98/ME includes a tool called Power Manager Trouble Shooter (PMTShoot). You'll find PMTSHOOT.EXE in the \TOOLS\MTSUTIL\PMTSHOOT folder of your Windows CD. Simply locate and run the program; it will install itself and restart your machine. It starts itself during the startup process, and will ask you to shut the machine down again using the "Stand By" option. As your machine attempts to put itself into suspended animation, PMTShoot monitors for problems with apps, driver, or devnodes that are causing you to have shutdown or startup problems. Take a look at the log entries inside PMTShoot's main window for more info. To restore your system to its original state, just uninstall the thing.

Want to really get persnickety? When dealing with memory modules, make sure you're not putting gold-plated SIMMs and DIMMs into tin-plated sockets. The contact with the two dissimilar metals causes corrosion in just a matter of months. Clean the corrosion with contact cleaner, and avoid putting tin and gold together.

Printer problems can sometimes be solved with the wizard under Start/Help/Troubleshooting/Printing Problems. Your Windows CD includes a more advanced Enhanced Printer Troubleshooter, found under \OTHER\MISC\EPTS\. Double-click it straight from the CD and follow the directions.

Printer drivers are not nearly the "set and forget" programs we would like. Sometimes you need to play with the printer's settings with various kinds of print output to see which settings work best with which assignment. The most glaring example is text vs. graphic output, but there are plenty of refinements...and plenty of choices to be made. The best advice I can think of is to just play with the settings and see how the results look to you. See your printer manufacturer's Web site for hints.

The words "technical support" usually evoke a picture of giggling clowns with coke-bottle glasses and pizza smeared all over their "Byte Me" t-shirts, but Microsoft actually has some useful tech information available, though it isn't easy to get through to a real person. By calling 1-800-936-4200, you can hook into their automated support base, and have them fax you a list of articles available about setup issues. Their online support can be accessed at support.microsoft.com/support. (The old URL, www.microsoft.com/kb, takes you to the new Web address.) You can access Microsoft's Knowledge Base, a huge compendium of articles addressing the range of Windows information, at support.microsoft.com/support/a.asp?M=S. You can also access their Troubleshooting Wizards at support.microsoft.com/support/tshoot/default.asp and find out about the Microsoft product that's causing you trouble. In the case of Windows, you can learn about most of the problems you're likely to encounter. Don't try Microsoft's human support lines unless you want to pay them way too much money for their advice.

On the topic of technical support, several PC magazines have done large surveys of home and business users asking them to rate the technical support available from their PC vendors. No major surprises here: Dell, Hewlett-Packard, Quantex, IBM and Micron topped out, with Gateway, NEC, and Toshiba getting good to decent reports, and AST, Compaq (!) and our favorite whipping boy Packard Bell bottom-feeding (Packard Bell has withdrawn from the American PC market -- Packard Bell PC owners, scramble over to www.nec-computers.com for the latest info on customer support, warranty honoring, etc.). The surprise for me was that Gateway users had more tech problems than most other buyers, whereas AST buyers had far fewer problems. Not surprisingly, in two surveys Dell PCs rated as the most reliable, with Packard Hell PCs coming in dead last. Dell also cost less to repair than other PCs, with Micron, IBM, and Packard Bell costing the most. Micron, however, rated tops at resolving problems...and where was PB? Dead last. No wonder NEC has pulled them from the shelves. Good riddance.

The same survey recommended some common-sense actions before making that tech support phone call. When nasty problems arise, try these steps:

• Reboot your PC. Most problems will vaporize on a restart. Don't ask why.

• Use your PC's onboard diagnostic tools and programs to fix problems before they blossom into tech nightmares.

• Make sure the obvious stuff is not causing the problem -- cables properly connected, power is on, etc. "Problems" like these make up the bulk of most tech support calls.

• Record the details of the problem accurately so the techies will have something more to deal with besides "I dunno, the damn thing won't work." And keep a log of your contacts with tech support -- when you called, who you spoke to, what they recommended, etc.

• Make sure you have the beastie's model name/number and serial number. Check the back of the main unit. You might have a vendor registration or ID number, so find that, too.

• Keep a record of all hardware and software installed. You might want to set aside a notebook for just that purpose, and don't forget the itsy screensaver you downloaded last night. Record everything. Don't forget model numbers and version numbers, and don't forget any changes you've made to the system configuration, settings, or drivers. Win 98 users, put the System File Checker's log feature to use by accessing it through Start/Programs/Accessories/System Tools/System Information, choosing System File Checker from the Tools menu, clicking on the Settings button and then on the View Log button. The log will tell you exactly which files were added to your computer and which were updated with a newer version.

• If it's a hardware problem, the tech support guy may ask you to crack it open to check something. Leaving the phone to find screwdrivers and figure out how to pop the hood isn't a good thing. Be prepared beforehand.

• If you can get online, try checking out the vendor's Web site. There may be a patch or a FAQ that can help. Certainly you should spend some time perusing the FAQ page. You might find the info you need right there, and avoid annoying a tech and straining his/her social skills. While you're onsite, try searching the site for the info you need. (Hint: include your PC's model number in the search string to filter out irrelevant returns.)

• Some vendor sites maintain user forums, while other user forums can be found on independently maintained sites. Check these out! They may be a pain to wade through, and you're sure to get bogged down in someone's year-old flame war, but they're definitely worth checking. Just remember, everyone who posts isn't an expert, and you can't tell an expert from an idiot through his/her spelling. Lots of techies can't spell worth a damn.

• You may end up having to deal with tech support through e-mail instead of over the phone. Make sure that you include as much info as you can in your initial e-mail, and if you haven't heard back in 48 hours, it's time to pick up the phone and demand some service.

• Like everything else, the most convenient time for you is the peak time for them. Midmorning and early/midevening can be almost impossible to get through during; wait till lunchtime or the wee hours if possible. Also, back-to-school and holiday periods are also hectic, as you might imagine.

• Have your system up and running as best as possible when you call tech support.

• If you did it, confess. Failure to mention the bottle of YooHoo you spilled into the CD drive will waste your time and the techie's, and won't help you find a solution.

• You may need to download a patch to fix a problem. Download with care; read the site's download instructions first, and make sure you know how (and where) to install the patch before beginning the download. A good rule of thumb for downloadable patches is, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Why patch something that isn't causing a problem?

Hey, I lost my serial number! Windows requires the serial number of the program for any reinstalls or restores, as part of Microsoft's ongoing efforts to make it difficult to use our own software...I mean, their efforts to stop people from bootlegging their products. Here's a rough-and-ready workaround provided by a faithful reader: When prompted for the serial number, you just reboot and go into Safe Mode. Access the registry, and write down xxxxx-oem-xxxxxxx-xxxxx in the product ID field. Restart your computer once again and it will not prompt you for a serial number. Hmmm...Vince at 5Star expresses doubt that this works, but he does point out that you can look up the serial number in the Registry.

Gee, I dropped my floppy disk and it done broke.... Easy to deal with. On a 3.5, rip the metal sliding cover off, insert the disk into your computer, and make a copy of it. Then toss it. For a 5.25 disk that won't turn (does anybody still use these?), take another blank 5.25 disk, use scissors to carefully cut open the top of both diskettes (the part that sticks out of the drive bay), slide both diskettes out of their protective coverings, insert the defective disk into the other disk's jacket, and copy the information from that disk to your hard drive. Then toss both disks. Use the same trick if you spill coffee or soda on the disk. Cut it open, rinse off the magnetic disk under clear water, air dry it (not blow-dry!), and copy it to your hard drive or another disk. This trick can be used on the hard-covered 3.5 disks, too, but you need to pull the disk casing apart carefully with your fingers. Don't cut yourself.

The mouse pointer moves jerkily across the screen or won't move at all: Most mice don't work well because they are dirty inside. Always use a mouse pad, not a magazine or the tabletop. To clean a mouse, follow the directions provided to expose the ball and rollers. You can wipe off the dust and dirt from the ball with a clean cloth; just make sure the cloth doesn't deposit more fibers on the ball. Clean the mouse rollers with rubbing alcohol and a foam (not cotton) swab. If you're playing an audio CD-ROM, the multimedia player may be causing the mouse pointer to jerk. Use a better player, such as the shareware program CoolEdit. Other problems occur when the mouse is hooked up through the wrong port (most mice use COM1 or 2 -- preferably COM1 -- but a few still operate out of the serial port) or Device Manager has the wrong mouse driver installed. Extensive mouse repair usually isn't worth the money, as a new mouse can be gotten at relatively low cost.

The joystick won't work: Not much troubleshooting you can do. Assuming your game port is installed correctly, you either have a bad joystick (too much nuking?) or a bad cord. Spend a few bucks and get a new one. Many joysticks have a calibration routine that you should run before taking off after the aliens.

Having trouble with burned audio CDs playing in stereos? There are several ways to get around this. First, record all of your CDs at the slowest possible speed, 1x. It's damnably slow, but more accurate. Car and home stereo systems are much less tolerant of bit-level errors than CD-ROM drives. Make sure you're using CD-R and not CD-RW discs. Finally, some manufacturers just make poor CDs. The best (and most expensive) CDs are the almost transparent, light aqua ones; just down the ladder are the gold or gold-green ones. The dark blue ones are the cheapest and most likely to break down. The different colorations are due to different manufacturing processes; find out more by reading up on the different types of CDs here.

To access the Troubleshooting information in Help, go through Help on the command line, click Help Topics, click Contents, and click Troubleshooting. This opens up the Troubleshooting contents list.

Clean a dirty CD with a soft, lint-free cloth. Don't use any solvents as these can damage the protective layer. Wipe the CD in straight lines from the center hole outward. Scratched CD's can cause read errors or render files unusable. There are CD "repair kits" out there, but be careful that you don't do more damage with these than is already there. A less well-known method of "repairing" scratched CD's is to use toothpaste. Use a soft, lint-free cloth and a small dab of toothpaste to buff the CD scratches, making sure you use straight sweeps from center to edge. Then carefully wipe the CD clean. You should be able to use the disk again. (The experts at Abacus provided this tip; I can't personally vouch for it.) Remember, straight scratches perpendicular to the data path usually don't impair performance, it's the circular scratches that cause the CD to fail. The same tricks that audiophiles use to increase performance from their music CD's should be effective with CD-ROMs as well, including painting the edges green with special markers, using specially formulated liquid preservatives like Optrix, etc. One more thing: the label side of the CD is the most vulnerable to damage, not the shiny side. Geek.com passes along another tip for scratched CDs: wash with soap and water, let dry, then apply a thin, even coat of ordinary car wax. Let the wax dry, gently buff and glaze it, and it should work. You should know that Geek doesn't stand behind this particular tip; you're on your own for this one. For really damaged disks, try the $35 product GameDoctor -- more info at www.digitalinnovations.com/.